I have noticed that things have seemed a bit different, since I've been home. I expected culture shock upon returning, but i didn't know what that would look like. It was a lot different than i expected.
I got home and realized I wasn't excited to see the people who had waited for me. At first, I thought it was because I missed my missionary friends. Then I believed it was because the people at home expected certain things from me. Finally, I believed it was because I didn't have a job or a plan for life. While it is true that all of these reasons added to my shock; none of them were the reason for my culture shock. It was something all together different.
YWAM is a "cowboy" ministry. They shoot from the hip, and fire frequently. This is something they are proud of, because it helps 25,000 young adults become excited about mission work every year. I don't know if you remember this or not, but young adults are impatient and love shooting from the hip. Well, maybe not all young adults...
I, for example, might be impatient, but I'm not a hip-shooter. I want to see results, but only if I know that I'll succeed. I've got a condition known by my pastor as: paralysis of analysis. It's more commonly known as: cowardice.
Websters online dictionary defines cowardice as an "Ignoble fear in the face of danger or pain."
I guess that's why God had me go through YWAM. He wants me to be noble, and said, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Okay, He was talking to a different Joshua (son of Nun, while I'm the son of two), but the meaning is the same for all Christians: He will never leave us, nor forsake us. That means we should rush into battle bravely, right? Kind of...
YWAM forced me to face my fears, by putting me into foolish positions with a bunch of "trigger-happy" kids. We found ourselves on the edge of a cliff, with only one way down: jumping (Surprisingly, it went against everything my mom taught me. She use to say, "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" Bad news mom; I guess I would...)
Is it wise to run to the edge of a cliff and jump? No... unless God tells you to. Whether or not He tells you to jump is His business, your job is to give Him control of that decision. That, right there, is the biggest fear that I struggled with: giving Him control. But hey, I'll trust Him as long as everyone else is...
While I was beginning in the faith, I began to realize that there are hundreds of "contradictions" in the bible. We are told to lead a quiet and holy life, but we are also suppose to run to the ends of the earth proclaiming that Jesus wants to be your savior and Lord. We are told to live a moral life, but we are not saved by that morality. We are to be wise, yet walk in faith. People give sermons on either end of the spectrum, and I'm torn someplace in the middle. But are these really contradictions?
As I've grown closer to the Lord, I've realized that they are not contradictions, but misunderstandings. This dawned on me as I heard a sermon about trusting the Lord, versus pleasing the Lord. The pharisees chose to please the Lord instead of trusting Him. They ended up doing neither, and that's because we please the Lord BY trusting Him. We give Him control.
Coming back to America has been hard upon me, because I began to take control again. "Find a job, but rest in the Lord's provision," "Move here, or move there", "Love home, but miss my friends overseas." God wasn't asking me to balance any of those things. He was asking me to be content with His decisions, BY keeping my perspective upon Him.
Amazingly, life is much more satisfying when I live by the Spirit. How do you do that? I don't know, you should ask Him.
http://prezi.com/tze5wg0i1ivl/life-by-the-spirit/
