am i missing His call?

Sometimes I ask that question to myself. How do you hear God's voice, and what does it sound like? There are times when you hear people say all sorts of stuff like "oh, God told me I needed to do this or that," but how do we know if they are telling the truth? What does that even mean to hear His voice? Is it a whisper, a series of coincidences, a passion that overcomes you, something else altogether?

I'm reading a book right now called "heavenly man," and I think it's incredible. It's similar to the story of Paul's mission in the book of Acts, only in modern day Asia. Back in the 1970's when they had a big christian revival, a man named Brother Yun, was an active church planter. He studied the bible, and suffered greatly to fulfill his call in spreading the gospel of Christ all over Asia. It's very inspirational and convicting at the same time, because he did what God wanted him to do, regardless of the consequences. He was beaten, and starved; shocked with electric batons, and thrown in prison multiple times. He was even tempted with awesome riches if he just gave up his faith. He held fast, though, and accomplished much. It seems like part of the reason he was strong was because he mentioned this idea that God/the Holy Spirit telling him what to do.

Sometimes, I wish I had that. I wish I was able to say with conviction, "I'm taking this huge risk, because God told me to do it." or, "I'm suffering for Christ because this is my calling." Wouldn't that make life so much easier? You would push yourself to remain obedient whether you are successful or a failure, because isn't the obedience the important factor anyways? For example, I'm currently struggling with my vocation in life. I want to live a life of faith and follow God's direction no matter what, while at the same time, I hope God directs me to play a big role in His story (maybe arrogantly). Sometimes I feel dissatisfied about my position, and start to question whether I can do more. Although a good friend said, "the best place to be, is exactly where God wants you to be." That's because His plans are above mine. He knows what's best, and wants me to better experience His presence. So maybe I'm doing exactly what God wants me to do, although maybe He wants me to further stretch myself like Brother Yun did. Some climb the corporate ladder to donate millions to charities and missionaries, while others live a content and quiet life; doing nothing extravagant. While others are even imprisoned for their faith. How do you know which direction is your destiny?

I compared it to the PhD graduate who works at a fast food joint. There is nothing wrong with working in a fast food joint, but is it wise for a person to spend that much money and time to end up flipping hamburgers? When does responsibility overrule contentment? Does it ever? These are just a few questions I'm left asking myself. I know two things though; remain faithful in the small things, and know that God accepts me regardless of my abilities. Yet, until He reveals His plans for me, I ponder, "am I missing His call?"