break the mold

I sat next to a Catholic man on a plane ride from WY to WI this last spring. In my spiritual pride, I decided to pray for an opportunity to lead him to a saving relationship with Jesus once I found out he was catholic. Little did I know that the next hour would be spent with him discipling me.


My view on the Catholic religion was very skewed growing up. I thought they worshiped the dead, were part of the mafia, and kept their bibles in trophy cases; taking them out only during exorcisms. This man was totally different. He was able to navigate his bible and scripturally explain his view points. But then he said something that completely contradicted my understanding of church history.

He looked at me and told me that Martin Luther did a horrible thing by dividing the Church, and his action has led to the thousands of denominations we now face. Did I hear him correctly? In my church, Martin Luther is hailed a saint: a captain of Truth. Maybe he is, but how can we justify the division of the churches when Jesus prayed the following in John 17: "May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me"?

Contradictions from the church leave me frustrated and confused. I thought I was fleeing from that pain when I came to YWAM, because I thought everyone would think alike. Fortunately, God had a better idea.

Last week we had a speaker discuss praying the will of God into existence, and then this week we experienced a hurricane threat. There was a lot of concern and evacuation talks, despite the fact that many of the leaders said that God doesn't want people to experience homelessness. Well, if God wants us to pray His will into existence, and His will is to protect us from the hurricane, then why not pray the hurricane out of existence? Could it be that easy?

I went into prayer and asked God, "Father, is it possible to figure out your will logically, and then run around praying miracles into existence?" He answered with Isaiah 55:8, " 'my ways are not your ways, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord.' " Ok, I thought, logic will fail me. Instead I need to ask what His will is so I can pray that into existence, but why?

That's when diversity became essential for my qwest. A friend said, very matter of factly, "God's will is whatever brings him the most glory." Ahh, the missing link. I have to ask God what His will is, because I don't know the outcomes of specific situations. Only He knows what will bring him the most glory. But that only led to another question.

Why is His glory is more important than the homes and lives of people in the path of the potential hurricane. He answered me through another verse; 2 Peter 1:3, "His divine power has given us everything for life and godliness, through our knowledge of Him, who calls us by his own glory and goodness."

That's it! The more glory God has, the more He shows His love, because He uses His glory to call us into an eternal relationship with Him! That revalation brought me so much comfort and joy, and did you notice that diversity was required to bring about that joy?
Diversity is beautiful, and can be so instrumental to our growth if harnessed correctly. The charasmatic preacher can motivate and encourage us to run in faith; while the questions from the theologan can help us stand in awe. Unity in the midst of diversity brings God glory, and people are brought into an eternal relationship.

Warning: Hard Hat Area

we started our lectures this week, and were blessed with the privaledge to hear Peter Warren speak.  He gave us an amazing week of foundation rebuilding.  I forgot how important foundation is.  Sometimes i want to build a house on sand.  I think to myself, "we can save a ton of time if we skip the foundation part.  I mean, no one sees the foundation anyways..."

I guess that's what they were thinking when they built the leaning tower of pisa.  A weak foundation eventually gets found out, plus it costs a much greater price to maintain and repair.  Sometimes, reparation is impossible.  You need to level the building and reset that foundation.

I found that out while listening to Warren.  I built my life on weak foundation, and needed to take a sledgehammer to the walls in order to reset my foundation on the rock.

My foundation was built upon Christ, but it wasn't as strong as it could be.  I remember becoming a christian as a young child because my parents were Christians.  I wanted to make them happy, and I thought the alternative to heaven was kinda scary.  In 1 Peter 3:15, the Apostle says that we need to be prepared to give a reason for the hope that is in us.  I personally don't want to be the guy who kicked the dirt while mumbling, "cuz it's better than hell."

So, how did Warren help me reset my foundation?  Well, he reminded me that God created us to be in relationship with Him.  I've mutter that phrase a hundred times during sunday school, but deep down i always struggled believing it.  I knew that people will go to hell unless they accept Christ as their personal lord and savior, so I saw a conditional component to God's love.  God doesn't love conditionally though, and you need to look at the original blueprint in order to understand that. 

God created Adam and Eve in the perfect garden, with the perfect relationship with Him.  They didn't have to do anything in order to be in paradise, they just had to exist.  Unfortunately, we all make some really dumb decisions.  We lie, steal, cheat and hurt other people.  Those sins prevent us from experiencing a relationship with God.  Luckily, God wants to rebuild our foundational relationship with Him. 

The mosaic law didn't save people, so He made Himself the foundation.  The earth is falling apart, so He will create a new one.  Our relationship is hindered by an enemy who hates us, so He will cast Satan into Hell so we can enjoy His relationship to the full extent.  He will remove the pain, the hurt and evil that perverted His original plan.

I'm so grateful that my foundation has been reset, because its much stronger when built upon Christ's love.

unbelizable

God is in the business of relationship.  He uses them to face fears, find freedom, feel love.  At least, that's what has been happening here.



I met my roommate on the first day and he was a belizian who wanted to live life to the fullest.  "no fears man," was his motto, and i quickly realized that he meant it.  There were actually two belizians, and they have both helped me feel safe while outside my comfort zone.  This was very important, because I quickly discovered that i feel uncomfortable in the ocean.  There are so many dangers, and thanks to hollywood, i am very familiar with all of them.  I hear the theme song for Jaws whenever i am unable to see my feet in the water, and swimming out to the reef brought that out again.  Gratefully, both the Belizians took me under their wing and encouraged me to explore the secrets of the sea.  On my first day i saw a deadly fish, captured a starfish, and went spear fishing.  But with all those accomplishments, i still felt as though something was holding me back...

The next few days were very similar. On thursday we had a night of sharing our testimonies, and i was so encouraged by the other people.  I was in a room full of Christians who struggled just like i did.  Regardless of the faith of their parents, they were all broken.  Childhood is a battle, and we all leave with scars.  Whether it's addictions, abuse, or wishing we had a "great story" to tell; everyone feels a bit unsatisfied.  Amazingly, I think we found some of that satisfaction on friday.  

Friday started just like every morning, until one of the ladies stood up and confessed how she was hurt by guys growing up.  She was sobbing through the entire testimony, and really broke down some walls in the room.  Except for me that is.  I started to feel uncomfortable and lacked compassion because i was focusing on my own feelings.  The base director asked if anyone else had to share, and then read a bible verse that sliced my heart to the core.  I was terrified, not just because i had to confess my secrets to strangers, but because my secret involved a past that hurt girls like her.  I was that boy growing up.  i was the guy who was so concerned about his feelings, that he was willing to hurt girls.  I had no idea why God would call me to share this in a room full of girls, but He knew what was best.  I immediately broke down and was rescued by all of these strangers.  Encouragement and love was poured upon me.  Hearing people tell me that they accept me regardless of my mistakes, helped me accept the forgiveness that God was trying to give me.

Not only that, but I began to feel compassion like i have never felt before.  The next three hours consisted of people confessing their secrets outloud, and my heart broke with every word.  I don't konw if i've ever cried more in my life.  Ladies talked about how they were hurt by guys, and guys shared their struggles with controlling lust and aggression.  I realized that so many people have struggled with the same things, and want someone to say "you are not alone."  Transparency and forgiveness are essential to community, and community is one of the greatest gits that God gave us.  It breaks my heart that so many people experience life apart from that because they fear they will be rejected.  There is someone who will never reject you....ever.

I already feel Belizean

Jeff Spicoli has a son, and he is scuba diving with me in Belize. Well, that's not entirely true, we haven't gone scuba diving yet...

I woke up at 2:50 am this morning and flew to Belize today. Upon arriving, I met 6 random, yet incredibly interesting people. I really don't know what I was expecting, but I don't think this was it.

As much as I believe the old adage, "you can't judge a book by it's cover," I still do. It's my secret sin, but now it's out; I'm a judger. I size you up within two seconds and put you in a box. I have boxes for all sorts of people: the hipster, the cynic, the poet/lover/hypocrite/jock. I know; I didn't think the poet/lover/hypocrite/jock existed either! I categorize people so I know how to interact with them. I assume that a musician wants to talk about music, while the guy with a beer belly wants to talk about the bears/packers rivalry. You don't spend 4 years as a corporate salesman and walk away without some nifty party tricks.

What's even worse, is that I catch myself putting my God in a box at various times too, but I confess my sin in order to encourage you. Sometimes God will bust out of that box and do some amazing things, like how He amazed me with His choice of missionary characters.

I mean, you would think that every 20's something Christian from America would be about the same right? Or at least shallow enough for me to size 'em up and spit 'em out...

We got the kid who looks like the hippie, the kid who actually is, the cool confident guy, the constantly distracted southern bell, innocent Ingrid and a wise sage. Interestingly, I can't wait to find out more about these people, because the kid who looks like a hippie is actually a wise sage, the kid who is a hippie is the type of guy that will push me to face my fears, the innocent Ingrid is so full of compassion that I want to cry when she opens up about her struggles, and so on and so forth. Each person I met so far has already shown a unique characteristic that:

a. didn't fit inside the box I made for them

b. is a strength that I lack

c. makes me respect them so much

God is so cool. I'm excited to see how He uses this diverse group to help me grow more like Him, and I hope that I can bring you along for the ride.

Please pray that my heart stays open, and my attitude stays loving.

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.

Matthew 7:13

"God uses men who are weak and feeble enough to lean on him." — Hudson Taylor

"The road to ruin is paved with good intentions," is an old saying that I am starting to appreciate. I realized that not everything is bad, and if I try to fix everything, my good intentions may ruin it. I'm the type of person that draws heavy lines between right and wrong. I‟m right, you are wrong. Once you're wrong, I have the right to judge you. My experience in Africa showed me that sometimes things are just different. I became angry about the way Africans asked me for things, even though asking isn‟t always wrong. Jesus told us to ask God when said, "Ask, and you shall receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you." There are two reasons why I was so upset with people asking me for things; the first because I‟m selfish, and the second is because I struggle with asking. I don't want to humble myself to ask others for help, instead, I would rather fail independently. Does that mean I should model the Africans in their ability to ask? Not necessarily. I‟ll never find JUTE; Josh's universal theory of everything. I try though. I want absolutes in life, so I can pride myself on my good deeds instead of living by faith. The bible has a lot to say against that: "Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for “The righteous shall live by faith.” Galatians 3:11.

I'm going to sidestep, and ask that you think about what I am about to write: some things are wrong. The phrase "Jesus is a great man and moral teacher," is an example. Jesus doesn't say He is a great man or moral teacher, He says He is God Himself. That's why He was crucified by the religious leaders in His the day. Jesus repeatedly called Himself God (Matthew 26:63-64), and that He alone holds the key to eternal life, "I am the way the truth and the life, no one comes to the father except through me," john 14:6. I believe that He alone can save me. The reason I believe Jesus is God, is because He said so. He was dead for three days and rose again, and I will listen to the one who has authority over death. I also can testify that my life has been changed by knowing Him in an intimate way. I never would have thought that one day I was going to sell the things I own, say goodbye to the girl I love, and head off on a journey to better understand Him. But that is exactly what I‟m doing, and it's because I want to. He changed my desires. I‟m scared, but I‟m also excited to experience intimacy with the creator of the universe. I'm trusting that He knows what is best for me, and will always accept me despite the flaws I have. If you are seeking that kind of eternal and unconditional acceptance; ask. If you have accepted it; then trust. If you are trusting; then tell the world about what He has done for you.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled conclusion; to quote the 70's, "what a trip, man." God has shown me amazing things about Himself, and helped me realize that I‟m not the center of the universe; He is. I'm just another guy grateful to be here, and trying to live out my faith the best I can. What do I know of holy? I'm trying to learn how to accept differences and love people in spite of them. I'm trying to learn that I‟m not a macho man; just an ordinary Joe that has an extraordinary God to sustain him. I'm trying to learn that it's okay to fail, because my righteousness is credited to me by faith. And I‟m trying to learn that God deserves all the glory. He is beyond anything I can even imagine.