my action is a reaction of his love.

My last few years with God have been very exciting. It started two years ago when I realized my lifestyle was not very Christ-like. So to alleviate my guilt, I joined a Tuesday night study which opened my eyes to God's love for me. At the time I was living with the fear that God would not love me if I made any more mistakes. That group helped me see that God loves me regardless of my actions. In fact "God demonstrates His love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us." That realization turned into a desire to make a public commitment to follow Jesus and become baptized. I'm still growing, and in fact dealing with more struggles than ever before. I'm currently learning that patience is required to follow Him, and that it's important to put His plans above your own. It can be frustrating, and sometimes goes against everything I've ever felt in the past, but there is a reward at the end of life. It's interesting that my selfish pursuit of alleviating guilt turned into a desire to become selfless in following Him. It's all because "when I am weak then I am strong."

My journey is not done yet, and I will have the privilege of participating in my first mission trip in a decade this July.

What are the planned details?

I fly to Uganda on July 8th and return July 19th

• Three day medical clinic designed to diagnose/treat various diseases
• There are not enough doctors to diagnose diseases in Uganda, which prevents people from obtaining a readily available prescription drug.
• Pastor’s conference with around 175 African pastors
• Uganda has willing leaders, but limited resources in funding their education.
• Participation in supporting the local church
• The government is trying to destroy a section of the city, which displaces many families, and is causing the church to lose credibility

I want you to participate in this mission trip with me. You can participate in prayer, encouragement, or donation. Please consider:

• Prayer
• Pray that God will give us the fruits of the spirit: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
• Pray for leadership and team unity
• Encouragement
• Encourage me to stay in communication with my savior
• Donation
• The trip costs $3,500, and donations of any size are appreciated

The bible is about what????

Yesterday changed my life. I was surrounded by men who sang and stretched their arms towards the sky as if they were begging God to grab their hands and lift them into heaven. I saw men talking with complete strangers, because they were too excited to keep their mouths shut. I felt a room tremble because the unity of men's voices overpowered the bonds in the walls. I felt alive and part of a community like i have never known before.

Yesterday I went to a guys-only church conference in Appleton. It was AMAZING! I grew up in a family where the guys went to church to make the ladies happy, but this event was something completely different. The guys spent an entire Saturday in church because they wanted to be there. They wanted to praise God. I think i cried like 10 times in the course of 8 hours. There was only one downside: the keynote speaker was too good. Well, it wasn't that he was too good, it's just that his message was too alarming.

The speaker, Voddie Baucham (www.voddiebaucham.org) stated that America is at an all time low for biblical literacy. People don't know who Matthew is, whether Jesus sinned, how to get to heaven, and more importantly what the core of the bible is about. The bible is the story of Jesus. Yes, even the old testament is about Jesus. An article that goes more in depth can be found here: http://www.theologicalstudies.org/page/page/1573625.htm

What does this mean for America? Well, i don't know, but Voddie's message was clear: many people claim to be christians, but in fact will never get to heaven. He made reference to Matthew 7: 21-23 in which Jesus states, "Not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"

Voddie said that where he lives in the south, people have to be lost before they can be found. He explained that many of the people down there claim to be christians because they prayed a "secret prayer" or a big-shot evangelist told them that there name was written in the book of life because they gave money to the church...but are they all saved? And if so, then why did Jesus say "I never knew you. Away from me evildoers!" Even those who use the name of Jesus to perform miracles? It comes down to whether or not they did the will of God.

Voddie again referenced Matthew 17 to help illustrate the difference between a christian and a non-christian in a christian t-shirt:

"By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus by their fruit you will recognize them."

So here are the facts:

The conference was awesome imo.

Christian unity is powerful and will tremble the earth.

Voddie Bauchman is a phenomenal speaker imo.

Not everyone who thinks they are christians are christians.

Genuine Christians bear good fruit.

The bible is about Jesus. Both the old and new testament.

What's next? Where do you go from here? Heaven is full of people who do the will of Jesus' Father, so what is His will? What does Jesus want us to know about Himself?

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/sermons/bydate/2004/179_what_is_the_will_of_god_and_how_do_we_know_it/

my battle for understanding

this winter i was struggling (privately, and deceptively) with sin. i was trying to make it go away on one hand, and wanted to justify it on another. I asked myself "ok, if i'm praying for healing and it doesn't happen, what does that say about God? The bible talks about predestination and free will at the same time. At what level am i responsible for god not correcting me" So, i looked into predestination versus freewill. read bible passages, looked at commentary on the subject, etc. And then one day something happened...

I became frustrated with the lack of answers i received, and the problem came to a climax one morning after i heard about two Pastors make contradictory statements. I was reading my devotional and one pastor said that our situations in life are controlled and directed by God (for example God hardening pharaoh's heart, moses being found by an egyptian and raised an egyption, etc). I said "ok, i'm fine with being predestined for this life, i can now move on." I left my house, got in my car, and heard another pastor on the christian radio quote a scripture John 5:6 "wilt thou be made whole" where Jesus asked a man what he will chose to do in reference to his salvation. Free will vs. Predestination. Contradictory statements in a matter of 20 minutes, by two well known pastors!

I was irate (that is probably an accurate description of my feeling at that moment). I was so angry at God, i think i might have even yelled at him. "WHY...WHY WHY WHY. IF YOU ARE SO GOOD, GOD, WHY DO YOU LET ME BE SO CONFUSED??? YOU POSITION THE EVENTS THAT OCCUR IN MY LIFE, AND THEREFORE FORCE ME TO BE FILLED WITH THIS FRUSTRATION, THIS ANGER, THIS RAGE?????"

Needless to say, i quickly apologized, and told myself to calm down. It didn't seem fair though. why would God do this to me? I continued my drive to work, and then it hit me:

Job 38: "Who is this man that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me."

God is AWESOME! God REIGNS! God ALMIGHTY IS SOVEREIGN, AND HIS WISDOM IS BEYOND COMPREHENSION! Who am I to question His will, and what knowledge do I have to try and understand His thoughts? Whatever may come, whatever direction the scale tips, I am putting my faith in the God I don't fully understand, but I can fully trust and love.

I learned a lot that day about how awesome God is.

I think that's part of the reason we struggle; so that in the end we can get a glipse of how infinitely awesome He is. This "glipse" will inevitably do the one thing he requires; allow us to stand in awe!