Psalm 46:10

I had one of those weeks where I felt restless and bored, but couldn’t understand why.  And then finally, the solution just fell on my lap.  It happened while was taking a class for school.  My professor shared the difference between “long form reading” and “short form reading”, saying that many people today prefer short form reading.  He explained that “short form reading” is speed reading for information, while “long form reading” is searching for understanding.  My professor said that short form reading tends to create shallow thoughts and a lack of fulfillment. 

Even as my professor spoke, I was able to realize that I’m a "short form reader."  I am someone who loves to learn new things, but don’t want to go through the tedious work of trying to learn something new from an old concept.  But that shouldn’t be a surprise, don’t we all love new things? 

I think we all want that new car smell, but we don’t want the hard work of cleaning the old one.  We believe it’s easier to buy something new, but the problem is that it requires more hours of work to buy a new car than it does to maintain or even fix the current one.  It’s also less fulfilling to have someone else do the work for you, but I digress…

There are reasons why "short form reading" and consumerism doesn’t fulfill us, but that’s not something I want to write about.  Instead, I want to share what happened when I decided to quit skim-reading my bible, and start meditating on a verse.

I decided to meditate on the first part of Psalm 46:10 by emphasizing a different word each time I repeated the verse.  Here are some of the thoughts that I wrote in my journal as I meditated:

BE: a command to exist in a certain condition.  It’s more than doing, it should be my state of existence

STILL: Why is it important to be still?  What is preventing me from being still… is it boredom and wanting to find fulfillment?

AND: It seems like there is more to stillness than sitting around and being lazy.  I should be still AND do something; what is it that I’m supposed to do?

KNOW: Does this mean more than just an intellectual knowledge?  Is it an experiential knowledge?  What am I suppose to know?

THAT: …the next part of this verse is what I’m supposed to know…

I: This is God speaking.  It’s not a pastor saying, “This is what you should know.”  It’s something that the creator of earth is telling me to know and study.

AM: This is more than just what God does or feels.  It’s about who He is.  Who am I?  I define myself by my work, experiences, or my status, but when I am going to bed at night, who do I say that I am?  What is my true identity?  More importantly, what is God about to tell me regarding His identity?

GOD:  This is what He wants me to know about Himself.  It’s His identity, His nature: He is God.  What does it mean to be God?  I know that I try to be God, but what is it like to truly be God... 

What is it like to speak the universe into existence; to move mountains; to place or replace political leaders into a position?

What is it like to know everything; to always be right; to never force myself upon someone?  What is it like to create something that rejects you?  How is it possible for God to forgive instead of get even? 

If He is God and I am not, why don’t I praise Him more?  Why am I not asking Him questions all the time?  Why do I isolate myself from Him?  Why do I let the opinions of others control what I think about myself?  How can I KNOW Him better?

I realized that skim-reading the bible isn't fulfilling, but being led into reality is.  What’s reality?  Reality is the understanding that I’m not God, but that God wants to be with me.  It’s not because of something I've done, or am capable of doing.  He spoke the universe into creation.  He doesn't need me to help Him run it.  Instead, it’s because of who He is.  He is love, and He is a generous God that wants to share His love with His creation.  How do I know that?  He came to earth and died on a cross to prove it.