In my last post, I mentioned that I use to read the bible out of context in order to justify my sin and rebellion. I felt embarrassed and guilty, so I tried hard to make up for my mistakes instead of forgiving myself. I tried harder, became more strict in my behaviors, and even started to speak against the behaviors of others. One day I told my pastor that I was angry at someone for their behaviors, and he said, "That's very Pharisetical of you, Josh."
This caught me off guard, because the Pharisees were the religious leaders who Jesus confronted the most. It's easy to see that they were doing something wrong when we look at what Jesus said of them in Matthew 23:
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.
Ouch...
I knew my pastor was right, but I didn't know what to do about my attitude towards myself and others. I thought I had a genuine desire to be a good Christian, but I was finding myself opposed to Christ some how. Looking back, I believe that's because I didn't have a big enough context of the scripture I was reading.
There are many times when I feel a sense of conviction while reading the bible. I compare my life to Jesus, and realize that I'm missing the mark. I see the consequences of people who made huge mistakes because of small compromises. I know that my motives are impure at times, but what can I do?
Two years ago my response was, "try harder, do more, be stronger," but now my response is, "focus on Jesus."
My pastor was right; I was a Pharisee who knew all sorts of information, but failed to see how it all fit together. I had a list of rules and verses memorized, but I couldn't summarize the purpose of the Old and New Testament. Everything was disconnected, and in a sense of fear and frustration, I put the pieces of the bible together in a way that made me the center. Everything depended upon my actions, attitude, and belief, and everyone else was suppose to become more like me. That was a big problem though, because I couldn't control my actions, attitude and beliefs consistently. I was constantly "failing as a christian", and was exasperated from trying.
One day God showed me that the solution to my problem resided in a proper understanding of the bible. He showed me that I missed the whole point of the bible by missing the true context: Jesus.
The point of the bible is so much bigger than anything I can "piece together"; it's all about God and His eternal love (which will take me an eternity to understand). That's what connects the Old and New Testament. That's what prevents people from using grace as a license to sin, or from becoming legalistic and "pharisetical" (to quote my former pastor). God has always existed, and has always been the essence of Love. God created mankind with the intent of showing us love, and then repeatedly pursued us even though we rejected Him. We condemned ourselves by rejecting God, but in His love, He came to save us. John 3:16-17 says it this way:
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
The reason I was frustrated was because I thought I needed to save myself and keep myself from falling away. That's an impossible task for a human to do. Only Jesus can save anyone, and only Jesus is faithful enough to keep them safe. As Philippians 1:6 says:
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
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