In the pressure cooker again

I've been working as a telephone salesman this past month while undergoing the interviewing process at a local church, and it's been a real trial.  During my small group, one of the guys asked what our current low point in life was, and I admitted it was my job.  He then asked what our current high point in life was, and I replied it was also that same job!  The guys in my group were a bit confused.

In fact, everyone has been a little confused about my decision to work at this company lately (including myself!).  I don't like phone sales, I have no experience or interest in the product, and my boss told me that I have to sacrifice my morals in order to work there.  In fact, he stood before me one day and commanded me to sin...

I'm prone to sin like everyone else, but I think it's important to stand your ground against immorality; especially when people try to convince you otherwise.  Psalm 118:8 says that "it's better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man."

I use the word "especially" for a reason.  It's not because I think that it's okay to sin when no one is looking, or to play the part of a "holy roller" when everyone is.  I say "especially," because you have an incredible opportunity to witness God's glory at the moment of peer pressure.

My natural bent is to submit to peer pressure.  I started seeking acceptance from other people instead of God during 7th grade, and it's a path I never want to repeat.  Life gets really hard and ugly when sinful people control your behavior; as in my experience of addictions, discouragements, embarrassments and flat-out suffering.

But there was something special about the day I stood my ground, and I think it had to do with a few blessings that God wanted to provide.

As my boss stood before me yelling, "TELL HIM TO GO (bleep) HIMSELF," I realized how much this job sucks, and I didn't want to be here for the rest of my life.  In fact, the sooner I get out, the better!  So at that moment, I stood my ground, and said "NO."

(In most of my choices there is usually a selfless motive and a selfish motive.  Trying to get fired was the selfish one, but there was a selfless one as well.)

Paul said in Philippians 3:7-8 "I once thought these things were valuable, but now consider them worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.  For His sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with Him."  NLT

I use to love money and the opinions of people, but I'm starting to love Jesus more.  I still struggle to be single-minded for Jesus (everyone does), but it's getting easier as I realize how worthless other things in life are when compared to Him.  He is becoming what I really want by following through on His promise: "Delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."  Psalm 37:4

So what were the blessings that God revealed to me on the day I held up under peer pressure?  He revealed that He was in control of my situation, by preventing me from being fired.  He revealed that my desires were being transformed by Him, He revealed that His worth was growing in my heart, and He revealed a bit more of Himself.

But those are only a few of the blessings...

My best unemployment story yet.

When I got back to the states this January, I felt that God wanted me to spend my time volunteering instead of looking for a job. It might sound weird, but I believed that I was going to meet a stranger who would offer me a job. So I waited, and I waited, and I waited...

I spent most of my time reading the bible, praying, and explaining how my relationship with God changed through my journey. I was free to do whatever I wanted, but eventually I became depressed because I lacked a purpose in life. So I updated my resume, posted it on the internet, and within a few days I got a call!

“This is it,” I thought to myself, “God is providing me a job through Career Builder.”

As I drove to the interview, I started thinking of ways to use this job as a vehicle for ministry. I had a few ideas, but I still believed that God was telling me to wait. So I told the company that I was no longer interested in the job, and continued to wait for other opportunities. As I watched my bank account dwindle, I felt fear begin to cripple me.

“Maybe I misunderstood God.” I wondered, “Maybe this what Jesus meant when He said you shouldn't put the Lord to the test.”

Confusion and anxiety quickly became my close companions, and I found myself spending more time searching for jobs. I asked my mentors for advice, explaining that I felt lazy for “job-waiting” but felt unfaithful by “job searching.” They suggested that I send out resumes, reminding me that an offer doesn't have to be accepted. I liked that advice, so began the process of emailing resumes.

Over the course of a few weeks, I sent out 50 or so resumes. I had a few interviews, but nothing really connected. I didn't make a huge attempt in following up with the others (because I still believed that God would provide), but I was shocked at the lack of response. “With these credentials and connections, why can't I at least get a part-time job,” I asked myself one morning.

I think my lack of tenacity was partly to blame, but who could blame me; I was loving life! Sure, I began my journey with depression caused by a lack of purpose, but God helped me realize that my purpose was to hang out with Him. Then I battled anxiety and worry (“what if I starve to death?”), but God reminded me that He will sustain me if I seek His kingdom first. Finally, I started questioning my ability to secure a job through my accomplishments and connections, but God...wait...God didn't remove that one.

God showed me that morning that it didn't matter how many gold stars I have on my resume, or how many people are in my network; I will accomplish nothing apart from Him.

“I am the vine, you are the branch. If you remain in my, and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing.” John 15:5

John 15:5 is a great verse, but unfortunately, I fail to believe that success is attained only through Him. In fact, success is defined as a relationship with Him. Maybe that's what He wanted to teach me through this time.

I don't know all the answers, but I find it interesting that a stranger asked me if I would like to work at the church that very afternoon. I had been volunteering there, and he was in charge of building and grounds. I had an interview for a part-time position, and am waiting for God to move again. It's a pretty amazing story, and I'm grateful for this experience. God did the impossible, and all I had to do was obey (which I did a poor job doing. Luckily He is faithful even when I'm not!)


I would love to hear your "against all hope" story.  Add a comment below:

Culture Shock

I have noticed that things have seemed a bit different, since I've been home.  I expected culture shock upon returning, but i didn't know what that would look like.  It was a lot different than i expected.

I got home and realized I wasn't excited to see the people who had waited for me.  At first, I thought it was because I missed my missionary friends.  Then I believed it was because the people at home expected certain things from me.  Finally, I believed it was because I didn't have a job or a plan for life.  While it is true that all of these reasons added to my shock; none of them were the reason for my culture shock.  It was something all together different.

YWAM is a "cowboy" ministry.  They shoot from the hip, and fire frequently.  This is something they are proud of, because it helps 25,000 young adults become excited about mission work every year.  I don't know if you remember this or not, but young adults are impatient and love shooting from the hip.  Well, maybe not all young adults...

I, for example, might be impatient, but I'm not a hip-shooter.  I want to see results, but only if I know that I'll succeed.  I've got a condition known by my pastor as: paralysis of analysis.  It's more commonly known as: cowardice.

Websters online dictionary defines cowardice as an "Ignoble fear in the face of danger or pain."

I guess that's why God had me go through YWAM.  He wants me to be noble, and said, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Okay, He was talking to a different Joshua (son of Nun, while I'm the son of two), but the meaning is the same for all Christians: He will never leave us, nor forsake us.  That means we should rush into battle bravely, right?  Kind of...

YWAM forced me to face my fears, by putting me into foolish positions with a bunch of "trigger-happy" kids.  We found ourselves on the edge of a cliff, with only one way down: jumping (Surprisingly, it went against everything my mom taught me.  She use to say, "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?"  Bad news mom; I guess I would...)

Is it wise to run to the edge of a cliff and jump?  No... unless God tells you to.   Whether or not He tells you to jump is His business, your job is to give Him control of that decision.  That, right there, is the biggest fear that I struggled with: giving Him control.  But hey, I'll trust Him as long as everyone else is...

While I was beginning in the faith, I began to realize that there are hundreds of "contradictions" in the bible.  We are told to lead a quiet and holy life, but we are also suppose to run to the ends of the earth proclaiming that Jesus wants to be your savior and Lord.  We are told to live a moral life, but we are not saved by that morality.  We are to be wise, yet walk in faith.  People give sermons on either end of the spectrum, and I'm torn someplace in the middle.  But are these really contradictions?

As I've grown closer to the Lord, I've realized that they are not contradictions, but misunderstandings.  This dawned on me as I heard a sermon about trusting the Lord, versus pleasing the Lord.  The pharisees chose to please the Lord instead of trusting Him.  They ended up doing neither, and that's because we please the Lord BY trusting Him.  We give Him control.

Coming back to America has been hard upon me, because I began to take control again.  "Find a job, but rest in the Lord's provision," "Move here, or move there", "Love home, but miss my friends overseas."  God wasn't asking me to balance any of those things.  He was asking me to be content with His decisions, BY keeping my perspective upon Him.

Amazingly, life is much more satisfying when I live by the Spirit.  How do you do that?  I don't know, you should ask Him.

http://prezi.com/tze5wg0i1ivl/life-by-the-spirit/