My best unemployment story yet.

When I got back to the states this January, I felt that God wanted me to spend my time volunteering instead of looking for a job. It might sound weird, but I believed that I was going to meet a stranger who would offer me a job. So I waited, and I waited, and I waited...

I spent most of my time reading the bible, praying, and explaining how my relationship with God changed through my journey. I was free to do whatever I wanted, but eventually I became depressed because I lacked a purpose in life. So I updated my resume, posted it on the internet, and within a few days I got a call!

“This is it,” I thought to myself, “God is providing me a job through Career Builder.”

As I drove to the interview, I started thinking of ways to use this job as a vehicle for ministry. I had a few ideas, but I still believed that God was telling me to wait. So I told the company that I was no longer interested in the job, and continued to wait for other opportunities. As I watched my bank account dwindle, I felt fear begin to cripple me.

“Maybe I misunderstood God.” I wondered, “Maybe this what Jesus meant when He said you shouldn't put the Lord to the test.”

Confusion and anxiety quickly became my close companions, and I found myself spending more time searching for jobs. I asked my mentors for advice, explaining that I felt lazy for “job-waiting” but felt unfaithful by “job searching.” They suggested that I send out resumes, reminding me that an offer doesn't have to be accepted. I liked that advice, so began the process of emailing resumes.

Over the course of a few weeks, I sent out 50 or so resumes. I had a few interviews, but nothing really connected. I didn't make a huge attempt in following up with the others (because I still believed that God would provide), but I was shocked at the lack of response. “With these credentials and connections, why can't I at least get a part-time job,” I asked myself one morning.

I think my lack of tenacity was partly to blame, but who could blame me; I was loving life! Sure, I began my journey with depression caused by a lack of purpose, but God helped me realize that my purpose was to hang out with Him. Then I battled anxiety and worry (“what if I starve to death?”), but God reminded me that He will sustain me if I seek His kingdom first. Finally, I started questioning my ability to secure a job through my accomplishments and connections, but God...wait...God didn't remove that one.

God showed me that morning that it didn't matter how many gold stars I have on my resume, or how many people are in my network; I will accomplish nothing apart from Him.

“I am the vine, you are the branch. If you remain in my, and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing.” John 15:5

John 15:5 is a great verse, but unfortunately, I fail to believe that success is attained only through Him. In fact, success is defined as a relationship with Him. Maybe that's what He wanted to teach me through this time.

I don't know all the answers, but I find it interesting that a stranger asked me if I would like to work at the church that very afternoon. I had been volunteering there, and he was in charge of building and grounds. I had an interview for a part-time position, and am waiting for God to move again. It's a pretty amazing story, and I'm grateful for this experience. God did the impossible, and all I had to do was obey (which I did a poor job doing. Luckily He is faithful even when I'm not!)


I would love to hear your "against all hope" story.  Add a comment below:

Culture Shock

I have noticed that things have seemed a bit different, since I've been home.  I expected culture shock upon returning, but i didn't know what that would look like.  It was a lot different than i expected.

I got home and realized I wasn't excited to see the people who had waited for me.  At first, I thought it was because I missed my missionary friends.  Then I believed it was because the people at home expected certain things from me.  Finally, I believed it was because I didn't have a job or a plan for life.  While it is true that all of these reasons added to my shock; none of them were the reason for my culture shock.  It was something all together different.

YWAM is a "cowboy" ministry.  They shoot from the hip, and fire frequently.  This is something they are proud of, because it helps 25,000 young adults become excited about mission work every year.  I don't know if you remember this or not, but young adults are impatient and love shooting from the hip.  Well, maybe not all young adults...

I, for example, might be impatient, but I'm not a hip-shooter.  I want to see results, but only if I know that I'll succeed.  I've got a condition known by my pastor as: paralysis of analysis.  It's more commonly known as: cowardice.

Websters online dictionary defines cowardice as an "Ignoble fear in the face of danger or pain."

I guess that's why God had me go through YWAM.  He wants me to be noble, and said, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Okay, He was talking to a different Joshua (son of Nun, while I'm the son of two), but the meaning is the same for all Christians: He will never leave us, nor forsake us.  That means we should rush into battle bravely, right?  Kind of...

YWAM forced me to face my fears, by putting me into foolish positions with a bunch of "trigger-happy" kids.  We found ourselves on the edge of a cliff, with only one way down: jumping (Surprisingly, it went against everything my mom taught me.  She use to say, "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?"  Bad news mom; I guess I would...)

Is it wise to run to the edge of a cliff and jump?  No... unless God tells you to.   Whether or not He tells you to jump is His business, your job is to give Him control of that decision.  That, right there, is the biggest fear that I struggled with: giving Him control.  But hey, I'll trust Him as long as everyone else is...

While I was beginning in the faith, I began to realize that there are hundreds of "contradictions" in the bible.  We are told to lead a quiet and holy life, but we are also suppose to run to the ends of the earth proclaiming that Jesus wants to be your savior and Lord.  We are told to live a moral life, but we are not saved by that morality.  We are to be wise, yet walk in faith.  People give sermons on either end of the spectrum, and I'm torn someplace in the middle.  But are these really contradictions?

As I've grown closer to the Lord, I've realized that they are not contradictions, but misunderstandings.  This dawned on me as I heard a sermon about trusting the Lord, versus pleasing the Lord.  The pharisees chose to please the Lord instead of trusting Him.  They ended up doing neither, and that's because we please the Lord BY trusting Him.  We give Him control.

Coming back to America has been hard upon me, because I began to take control again.  "Find a job, but rest in the Lord's provision," "Move here, or move there", "Love home, but miss my friends overseas."  God wasn't asking me to balance any of those things.  He was asking me to be content with His decisions, BY keeping my perspective upon Him.

Amazingly, life is much more satisfying when I live by the Spirit.  How do you do that?  I don't know, you should ask Him.

http://prezi.com/tze5wg0i1ivl/life-by-the-spirit/

Our Wicker Basket Adventure

Jesus went to a Samaritan town one day, and asked a woman for a drink. Instead of answering, the woman asked why He would chose to talk with her; a woman of ill repute. Jesus could have provided a simple answer, but decided to use an analogy of well water in order to deepen the conversation. "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."

"Sir" she replied, "You don't even have anything to draw the water from this well..."

That got me thinking about the process of drawing water. You can use a pump, a wooden bucket, a clay pot, or a wicker basket...wait, who would use a wicker basket to draw water?

I read a story this week of a grandfather telling his grandson to draw water using a wicker basket, so I decided to keep them in mind as I recalled our last week of outreach.

Our team packed our stuff last week, and headed from Manila to the prostitution capital of the Philippines. We met with a researcher named Dr. Fuller, who explained the complex issue of prostitution and how each problem is interrelated with another. For example: the 12,000 current prostitutes provide a huge boost to the local economy, making the government afraid to shut it down; the churches are afraid of stepping in and having the government shut them down; and Dr Fuller is afraid that he won't get the support he needs from the churches. Not to mention; every person has a need which is personal to them. So we decided to get personal.

That night, our group went to the clubs in order to meet the men and women who engage in business, and were amazed by the things we felt and saw. I struggled with lust, and the ladies struggled with judging the guys. After 10 minutes of staring at the floor in order to protect my wandering eye, I realized that it was impossible to watch the guys and the girls interact, so the group and I decided to do something different.

We danced to the music in the club, and played games like "20 questions" with each other. We forced smiles on our faces, and did the best we could to ignore the temptations flying at us from all angles. Amazingly, it worked! By bringing joy into our situation, we were able to change our focus from lust, pride and condemnation to an attitude of curiosity. We wondered what thoughts were running through their heads:

Did the women feel rejected when the prettier girls were taken home? Did they compare their bodies to the other girls? Did they enjoy talking to regulars? Were genuine relationships formed? Did the guys think it was a fair exchange, or did they want to abuse the women?

The next day we discussed our experience, and Dr Fuller guided us in discovering the different perspectives and desires each person had. Men wanted fun, women wanted security, but we all want to fill a void. It was a very unique opportunity to see the humanity in the industry.

So what does all this have to do with wicker baskets?

There is a story of a young boy who told his grandpa that he didn't find any use in reading the bible, because he forgot everything the minute he closed it. The grandfather put down the wicker basket full of coal that he was holding, and told the boy to fetch a basket of water. The boy dumped out the coal and ran to the well to draw water. He repeatedly tried to pull up the basket, but realized the water had drained too quickly. Frustrated, he ran inside and told the grandpa that the process was useless, to which the grandfather replied, "It's not useless, just look in the basket." The boy looked into the basket and realized it looked different. Instead of being coated with coal soot, it was clean. That's when the boy realized that his grandpa wasn't asking him for a basket of water, but a clean wicker basket The grandfather took the clean basket and put fruit in it, turning to his grandson and saying, "come on, we are going to bring this fruit to the hungry and poor."

I think that's the point of outreach; to weave people together like a wicker basket, and then dip ourselves into the living water. We hope to take the living water to the people around the world, but the water leaks through the spaces between interwoven fibers. It would be more efficient to carry the water using a clay pot, but that's assuming that the point is to carry water from one place to the next. Jesus didn't bring a well to the woman in Samaria; it was already there. I don't know whether our team brought the living water anywhere new, but i do know that we were a much cleaner wicker basket at the end of our trip, and watered a lot of grass in the process.