Overcoming Entitlement

This past weekend was hard for me because of the financial burden involved in moving.  I got a second job in order to pay for the move, but on Sunday I used money from my second job to pay for the tithe from my full-time job.  It was frustrating to watch the money I earned on Saturday enter the church basket on Sunday. As I was talking to a friend, I realized how frustrated I really was.

I told my friend that I didn’t want give to the local church, because the rest of the paycheck pays for seminary.  Am I not already sacrificing a lot in order to go to seminary?  Do I really need to give more?  As I continued talking, I realized that I was angry and struggling with entitlement issues.

Entitlement is something we all struggle with.  We say that God wants us to do something, and then feel entitled to receive His blessings when we obey.  We begin to question God’s mercy and wisdom once the trials happen, and fail to see that God never promised a painless life. 

Americans in the 21^st century aren’t the only ones who struggle with entitlement, though; the bible is full of people who struggle with it as well.  In fact, Paul addresses two believers in Philippi who wanted their way.

Look at what Paul says to a group of believers in Philippians 4:2-3: 

 ² Now I appeal to Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement. ³ And I ask you, my true partner, to help these two women, for they worked hard with me in telling others the Good News. They worked along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are written in the Book of Life.

Fighting and division is a problem for everyone, including Christians from the bible.  Gratefully, God doesn’t abandon us or leave us to figure out our problems on our own, instead, He tells us how to overcome our issues through the wisdom found in Paul’s letter.  Read Philippians 4:4-7:

⁴ Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! ⁵ Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.

 ⁶ Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

As you can see, it’s a matter of perspective and will.  We can gain a new perspective by remembering that Jesus has helped us in the past and He will help us again if we ask.  But we also need to make a choice to rejoice in His faithfulness.

Taking time to remember what the Lord has done proved helpful.  I realized that Jesus gave more than 10% of His life: He gave 100%.  I also remembered that it’s not my money, it’s His.  He gave me the energy and ability necessary to make money, and I give Him a portion of it back.  I finally remembered that it was my choice to go to school, which I knew would require hardships.  Initially, the blessings of school outweighed the hardships, but eventually hardships steal our joy and leave us with a bitter perspective.  We change our perspective by remembering what the Lord has done and choosing to grateful.

Paul continues in Philippians 4:7 by saying that God’s peace comes after the choice to rejoice, and that’s what happened to me.  

I was able to recognize my entitlement issue after sharing my frustration with other people, and then I had to decide whether to demand my way or submit to God.  I experienced a sense of peace the more I submitted.

I think that’s one of the cool things about God.  He knew that I was being selfish and entitled, but He patiently and gently revealed it to me.  The revelation process was hard, but it brought me closer to God and to other people.  So here is the question:

Is your heart divided, and causing anger or resentment?  Are you willing to remember the good things that God has given for you (including His son)?  Are you willing to call your issue a sin?  Are you willing to thank Him for His mercy?  Then ask Him for help!  You won’t be disappointed.   

Humble Unity

A man, down on his luck, went into a church which catered to the rich. Spotting the man's dirty clothes a deacon, worried about the churches image, went to the man and asked him if he needed help. The man said, "I was praying and the Lord told me to come to this church.”  The deacon suggested that the man go pray some more and possibly he might get a different answer. The next Sunday the man returned. The deacon asked, "Did you get a different answer?"  The man replied, "Yes I did. I told the Lord that they don't want me in that church and the Lord said, 'Don't worry about it son; I've been trying to get into that church for years and haven't made it yet."

That’s a clever joke, but has some truth in it.  Sometimes in our attempt to be the good Christians, we do the opposite of what Christ asks us to do: fail to practice humility.  When it comes to humility, my struggle is showing love to older folks who should “know better.”  I’ve bought into the lie that I can have anything I want if I study hard enough, and therefore, I should have my elder’s job if I can outscore him on an IQ test.

I think a lot of people are like me.  People who struggle with some sort of prejudice.  We have preferential treatment for others of our kind. We want options because we want something that is tailored to our tastes.  Wikipedia says that there are 36,000 church denominations; over 11 different kinds within 2 miles of me.  Sometimes it’s good to have options, but our freedom requires a burden of responsibility.  Without humility we have church wars, and one group feels that they are the "real deal," while everyone else is wrong.

What about the early Church?  Did they have that problem?  Referring back to Acts 16 we see that the first church in Philippi was a comprised of slave, soldier and business owner.  They were a diverse group of people who didn’t have the choice of going to the Lutheran church across the street, so they had to make it work.  But how?  How do you get selfish, arrogant people to get along?  Paul’s answer is found in Phil 2:1-11.

            Remember the joy you feel as a Child of God (vs 1). 

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion


Remember that selfishness hurts your brothers and sisters (vs 2-4)

then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 


Remember how you obtained that status (vs 6-8). 

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death — even death on a cross!


Remember that your Leader not only deserves your allegiance due to power, but also due to His willingness to lay down that power (vs 9-11).

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

It’s amazing to think that Jesus chose to use humility instead of power.  I’m not like Him.  I daydream of using power to validate my cause, and wish a thousand angels would obey my command to rid the world of evil.  Jesus had the power to rid the world of evil, but instead, He allowed evil to crucify Him on a cross.  Why would He do that?  Why would He submit to His Father?

Love.  Jesus knew that His father knew best.  Jesus knew that the temporary suffering was worth the glory His actions would bring His Father.  Jesus knew that there was only one way to save us.   Jesus knew we needed an example to follow.

So follow His example.  Let your humility lead to obedience, and remember that He is the only person who knows best anyways.  There is only one person who proved Himself faithful when deciding to lead by example instead of power.  There is one person who defines love.  Jesus.

A Fearless Society

This weekend my pastor used 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 to explain the importance of serving in love.  He pointed out that Paul’s message to the Corinthians in effect was this: great abilities and accomplishments are worthless if they aren’t administered in love.   We all know the type; the NBA all-star who scores 50 points by refusing to pass the ball, and causes his team to lose the game.   How about the movie star who has a million dollars, but no friends, or the successful dad who misses all the big events in his child’s life?  Paul wants us to remember that God values love over success and abilities.  It was a straightforward message until our pastor started looking at the cultural setting of the passage.

 1 Corinthians 13 starts like this:

If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but don’t have love, I’m a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

I always thought that Paul was merely using a metaphor for an annoying preacher, but our pastor explained that Paul was making a comparison to the cult religions in the city of Corinth.

Just like today, Corinth had a lot of different churches and religions, but these church services were a lot different than the ones we have today.  They were full of fear and death, instead of peace and love.  The priests of the Cybele and Dionysus cults would walk the streets banging gongs and cymbals in order to call their people to worship.  The service involved drugs, spirit possession, orgies, self mutilation and animal/human sacrifice.   They practiced self-gratification and survival of the fittest.  It sounds like Paul is saying that a church without love is like a self-gratifying cult. 

The sermon prompted Ashley and I to discuss the idea of distinguishing ourselves from the culture and wondered how to do that in the 21^st century.  In an age where the culture has been shaped by virtue and justice, what makes our churches different than the philanthropists of the world? 

As we started to ponder that question, we realized it was the lack of fear that Christians should exhibit.  I think there should be at least two ways that we live fearlessly:

1.         We don’t fear death
2.         We don’t fear failure

In Philippians 1:27-30, Paul says that we should stand firm without being frightened of those that oppose us.  He said that this was a sign that we would be saved but they would be destroyed. 

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God.  For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.

The most obvious difference is that Christians shouldn’t fear death.  In fact, we tell the world that there is a God who loves them and created them for a purpose.  We believe that people are separated from God because of our individual sinful choices, but thankfully, God came to earth as a man named Jesus and removed the separation.  Jesus demonstrated His love by dying in our place and demonstrated His divinity by coming back from the dead to offer us eternal life with Him.  Life is not perfect on earth, but thankfully there is something better waiting for Christians after death.  

The second difference is that Christians shouldn’t fear failure. 

There is difference between freedom from failure, and freedom from the fear of failure.  Jesus said there would be set-backs and failures, but He also said that He made us conquerors (look at Romans 8). 

Christians shouldn’t fear failure when they have a proper understanding of what’s expected of them.  They don’t have to worry about failure, because God promised to be their unfailing leader.  Christians believe that only God can change people, and our responsibility is to remain available and act in humility.  

I’m not encouraging laziness and irresponsibility; instead, I’m encouraging Christians to throw off the fear that prevents courageous and humble service.  Maybe we will see success in this life, but maybe we will have to wait.  In either case, our highest definition of success is acting justly, loving mercy and walking humbly with God.  Humility is a proper view of ourselves which leads to a willingness to submit to God.  A perfect example of humility is found in King Jesus.

My Reality Specs

This past week was difficult for Ashley and me, because of tough decisions we need to make in order to move to South Carolina for seminary.  We believe that God wants to develop our character through this opportunity, and have already felt the tension.  The first thing we realized is the faith it takes to know that God will provide when it’s evident that we can’t.  We know that God wants us there, and face frustrations as we move forward.  This caused us to realize that we will need to take some risks and ask for God’s help.

The risk factor causes friction in our relationship, and is teaching us the frustration of compromise.  Compromise is hard, but the moments of frustration are caused by something I learned in the past.

About a year ago, I realized that a fight is caused by two people who have each made mistakes.  That realization helps me remember to look for my mistakes first, so last week I started to ask myself where I went wrong.  I finally decided to ask God for wisdom, but my prayer sounded more like a command.  I began my prayer by saying, “Father, Ashley is in the wrong, so why don’t you change her?  I’ve examined myself, and fail to see an error on my end.”  God responded, but it wasn’t the answer I was expecting.

He asked me whether I would drop out of seminary in order to show Ashley love.  My response was a strong and passionate, “ABSOLUTELY NOT!”  Which caused me to realize that the problem wasn't with Ashley: it was with me.  God began to gently point out that I was turning His gift into an idol.  I knew that God wanted to develop my character, and I also knew that He didn't need seminary to do it.  God could use anything to develop me.  Using God’s perspective to examine my actions revealed my sin, selfishness and my dependence. 

What I find interesting, is that I fell short when I tried to examine my situation on my own.  I forgot that I’m a sinful, selfish person, and that’s why it was hard to see my mistakes yet easy to see Ashley’s.  I’m realizing that it takes a perfect God to show us our faults, and that only a perfect God can reveal them perfectly.

I believe that God uses prayer to change our perspective, and empowers us to lay down our selfishness and pride.  I also believe that prayer gives us a perfectly, non-biased perspective on life so we can become more like Him.

The power that prayer has to alter our perspective leads to many implications.  Maybe you aren’t a Christian and wonder why Christians believe in God; ask Him to reveal His perspective on life.  Maybe you are fighting with someone and can’t see your fault; ask Him to reveal your fault.  Maybe you are suffering persecution or hardship and can’t see the purpose in your suffering; ask Him.  I think our Father is waiting for His children to ask Him for a clearer picture of reality.   Reality if life from God’s perspective, not ours.